Momma Got Ran Over by a Lawnmower

     I don’t know about your life, but my life seems to be in the fast lane most of the time. If I am not working, I’m gearing up so I can work. If I am not working at my job, I am working at taking care of my family. But you know, that is just how life is, isn’t it? Fast, fast, fast lane. We think technology helps only to find out it can be a ball and chain in our life.

     I was helping my husband with the mowing of our yard the other day, and I was the one who was chosen to ride on the riding lawnmower. He actually hates for me to help because the riding mower is the only fun part of the weekend lawn maintenance.

     When I help I usually run it on the rabbit speed, but we have some birds that nest in the ground. I did not want to run over the baby birds, so I put it toward the turtle setting on the mower. After all, I did not want to kill the birds. Meantime, in my own life I am running myself on the rabbit setting.

     I thought of this while I was on the turtle setting: Why don’t I slow down in my life more often? Why don’t I set my life speed on the turtle mode?” Unknowingly, my blood pressure was going up. My ears have been pulsating with my heartbeat and I have been having tightness of the chest. This

made me take time to go and see the doctor. I am having blood pressure issues and because of family history my doctor wants me to see a cardiologist. I will see him in a few weeks for an evaluation. This makes me think of the turtle setting on the lawnmower. Thank goodness I can stop and smell the roses and start telling people no, doing what is required of me, but balancing that with taking care of my health.

     I know you are probably in the same boat. You go from the time you get up, to the time you go to bed. Even if you stay at home with your kids or work from home, you probably fill up every second of your day and at the end of the day you are completely spent. I am starting my days on the turtle setting and going to enjoy my days in that speed. What I get done, I get done. What I do not get done, I just do not get done. Sounds easy, doesn’t it?

    It won’t be easy for me and it won’t be easy for you either, but we must try. I have future grandbabies I want to see and enjoy. So, what do you say? You want to go to the turtle setting with me? I’m tired of the rabbit setting, going so fast I run over myself in the process. I pray I can slow down and I pray you can too. We do not have to be the donkey below. Jesus says His burden is light and his yoke is easy. What we do not get done, will get done by others or the Lord. Rest well, my friends, and enjoy life.

Thank you for taking the time to read my contemplations.

 Blessings,
©Darla J. Smith
Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Djconnersmitty
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My Church: www.fbcjustin.org

7 Ways to Prepare Your Preteen for Adolescents

1.       Pick Your Battles – As parents we should endeavor not to nit-pick our kids for stuff that doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of life. I still have to remember this concept. When our kids are young we should correct and steer our kids in the right direction, giving small choices. As they get older we strive to give harder choices to make on their own.

     Pick serious toned instruction with subjects that truly matter. We should not badger our kids for little things. Not everything is a big deal. Too many times I nit-picked my kids about hair style, being messy, etc. In the grand scheme of things, who really cares that their hair was not perfect all of the time, or the house wasn't neat and tidy. Will an excellent hairstyle cause them to make good decisions, or keep them out of harms way? No. Although a clean room might. Not really, that was a little humor.

            If we nag all the time they will not listen to us when it really matters. My husband and I both have our picky areas and they thankfully are not the same. When I want to nit-pick the kids about things that bother me, he is there to nudge me to choose my battles and I do the same to him on the issues that grate his nerves.

       2. Love Their Quirkiness – understand that the sweet little child that could bat their eyes and once melted your heart, has temporarily vanished. You will probably only see glimpses of that individual in the next several years. But that sweetness will return when they become young adults.  

 

3.       Focus on Morality – do so with less nagging and more informal instruction. Concentrate on things that will help them be good decision makers and leaders in the home and society.

 

                  Do not spoon feed them information, ask open ended, life impacting questions, such as: “Johnny what do you think about such and such?” Or “How would you handle this or that?” Start with smaller issues and as they increasingly mature tackle larger issues. Examples of this would be: The younger preteen: "Emily why do you think the church has a dress code for camp?" The older preteen: "Emily what are your thoughts about girls having boyfriends, kissing boys, or kids who do drugs." Hopefully you have already explained God's and subsequently your view on such subjects.

 

            Keep dialogue age appropriate by answering their questions and not giving too much information at one time on a given subject. Our discussions on these subjects should be throughout childhood, giving bits and pieces along the way. It's not about all the information flooded at once and then that's the end of the discussion on the given matter. Discussion at pivotal points or moments of query are crucial.

 

     Stand firm on Biblical truths. Moral issues are a hill worth dying on. There should be no movement or hesitation on your Biblical worldview in rearing your children. People who say, "I'm letting my children choose their own faith." These individuals do not choose a spiritual foundation and have in reality chosen a faith for their child. That faith is for their child not to have faith at all.

     Help your children to own their faith by asking questions to analyze where they are spiritually. Encourage Scripture readings and open dialogue about the meaning of the biblical text. When they ask you what you think, tell them. Although, when you tell them what you think, please do not forget to tell them why you believe what you believe.

     The why is just as important as the what. If we forget the why and only focus on the what, it loses the chance to show our kids how to reason and make wise decisions. This shows our decision making with a purposeful outcome. Actually, it reveals to our children who we are.

4.       Give Rite of Passage Statements – These are statements like: “Now that you are 11… you are old enough to have this or that responsibility.” Hold them accountable for completing a certain standard in their performance, yet not expecting perfection. Give them authority or leadership over younger kids or in community or church with you guiding them in the process. Another statement would be: “Now that you are 13 we expect more out of you, Julie. In the Jewish culture 13 year olds are official adults. This means you are capable of adult decision making. I am going to be watching to see all the great decisions you will be making! I am here for you if you ever have any questions.”  Also, compliment them in front of others. This bestows confidence in them. Giving validity to the fact they are a contributing part of the community at large and progressing in their efforts of maturity.

 

             If your child rebels your responsibility delegations, respond with statements such as: "My job as your parent is to prepare you for adulthood, not to be your best friend." or "The reason we give you responsibility is because we know you can do it." or  "God gave you to us because He made you with potential, and has instructed us to see to it that you use that potential."

 

 

5.       Think of Your Child as Your Apprentice – You are preparing them to take over the family lineage after you pass on.  Actually, I believe this is the very reason why we were given the chance to be parents.

 

     Talk to them about the future and how special they are to carry on the family spiritual heritage after you are gone. This empowers them and gives them a sense of belonging that can only come thru your family. This process teaches them how to be a spouse, parent, member of society, and a local church.

6.       Chill out and seek God’s wisdom for times of your impatience, because parental impatience is a reality in everyone's life. Why do we get impatient? Because we:

a.       Love them.

b.      Do not want to see them get hurt.

 

c.      We do not want to look bad in front of our friends, church, or family members. We take our kid's behavior as a reflection of our parenting skills or take it personally in some way. I have done this and I am sure you have too.

 

             It’s ok. Our children have free will and are their own individual person with individual personalities that are transforming into who they are becoming as a future adult. Adam, Eve and the generations of us who came after them, have the perfect parent; God. Yet, we still mess up and make mistakes. Thank God for His Grace in such times. Our message should be love even in the midst of discipline.

7.       Repeat this process over and over again until they move on to college. When the children go to college, use these principles from afar. We should always be there and never let go of our kids through the college years. We choose the fine line between accountability and grace, just as our heavenly Father does. We are always His child, saved by grace, but are guided by His loving stern hand in times of disobedience. He never leaves us nor forsakes us. I know I take comfort in that fact, and so does my children.

              I'm praying for you as you parent your preteens into adolescence and into adulthood. I pray they are individuals who follow and love the Lord their God. Children are indeed an inheritance from the Lord.

 

Thank you for taking the time to read my contemplations.

 Blessings,
©Darla J. Smith
Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Djconnersmitty
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My Church: www.fbcjustin.org

Man of Steel is What We Want and What We Need

          

 

 
 

Man of Steel

We took my husband to see, The Man of Steel – AKA Superman. It was a unique expression of the Superman movies. It had some Biblical motifs, some gladiator scenes, elements from the Marvel movies, and many other familiar twists to other blockbuster movies.

Lois Lane was the more modern portrayal of a woman who is extremely aggressive, at least more than Lois in the Christopher Reeves’ Superman. Her language revealed the degenerated state of the modern woman’s need to keep up with men. Of course, there was plenty of offensive language as always in movies these days. Overall, this movie was well played out.

I loved the portrayal of the love of the earthly mother and father figures in Clark’s life. They portrayed a family that would sacrifice everything for one another. Subsequently, this sacrificial love alongside his alien parental martyrdom motivated a movie of sacrificial love of one’s selfish desires to motives of placing others before self.

This community metaphor is what we were created to experience. Community or interpersonal relationships is why we exist. This extraordinary social interaction is the aspect that humanity was made in the image of God. Therefore, when we go to see movies of this nature, unknowingly to most, we are looking at a reflection of the Trinity. A mirror image of the sacrifice and oneness of the God-Head. We too can have this oneness with God, and with each other. After all, this is what Jesus prayed at the Last Supper, He prayed for oneness.

The movie theater was packed and I wondered to myself, what draws people to see this genre over and over again? My thoughts are: for women, they desire to be rescued and want to be attractive to their counterpart male in the movie and in life. To support and uphold him, thus love him like no one else can. As for the male’s desires, I can only relate to what I see over and over again in life and in movies. The men desire to be attractive and to be the rescuer of their female counterpart, being the leader who can be the only one to meet the needs of the female. So it’s relational! Why did Facebook, Twitter, and every other historical community interaction explode in popularity throughout humanity’s history? Antiquity reveals that we need each other.

We need God and we need each other. However, our first inclination is to satisfy this need for relation with each other, instead of with God. This is our first mistake. Adam first had a relationship with God then to Eve. Yes, we do need each other and God created us for such interaction, but we need Him first. Looking for God in all the wrong places, leads to no satisfaction. Sound familiar? Clue: pop music of recent decades…

Why was Jesus’ greatest commandment to love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength? And then the second one just as equally as important? Because this fulfills our purpose! In and of ourselves lie the deadly enemy of emptiness, the void of others, and as a result, misery.

We long for these kind of movies because it draws us to our true purpose in life, to look for our hero Jesus Christ, the real man of steel, and to follow in His footsteps and the sacrifice of self for the benefit of others. Why is the good news so good? Because we die without it.

Look at the research on newborn babies that are not shown love? Their desire to eat is diminished which results in malnutrition. Babies who are not physically touched can die. Studies reveal we need social interaction. The desire to fit in is so great that if one does not fit in they are susceptible to committing suicide, murdering others, and turn to evil acts if deprived of such things as love, touch, care, and compassion.

So, let’s fulfill our heroic purpose: to love God and love others! This is the only thing that will fulfill us. Is it wrong to see such movies? No way, that is ridiculous. Who doesn’t love a good story? After all, that is what we were created for: a story. There are several good books that relate this same message, but specifically look at John and Staci Eldredge’s books as well as Rick Warren’s The Purpose Driven Life. Here’s to our adventure!

Thank you for taking the time to read my contemplations.

 Blessings,
©Darla J. Smith
Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Djconnersmitty
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My Church: www.fbcjustin.org

 

 

 

The Calm During the Storm - Trusting What You Know

 

Trust is a curious thing. The dictionary describes trust as a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. I am reminded of this trust in my adventure with my friend this week.

As I exited my house for my daily walk with a friend, I saw off in the distance a storm front heading our way. I wondered what the weather was going to be. Is this some storm off in the

distance? I took my phone from my pocket and lo and behold I thought it said 80 degrees, when in reality it said 80 percent chance of rain.

I thought, Oh, we can get our walk in before the rain hits. Besides, we live in North Texas where the weather is always a chance of rain and you never know if it will rain or not. It is not strange to see a storm in the distance and not get a lick of rain.

So, off I went wondering if my friend was still asleep or trying to get to me. Just in front of the beautiful storm front was what I thought was my friend… or was it a mailbox? I was not sure because from a long way off my friend is about the height of a brick mailbox. I called my husband, just in case, so he could come and rescue us in the car if we got stuck in the rain. Of course he said yes. He is a kind gentle man who has been there with me and I trust him with my life, because I know he has my protection as his best interest.

As I got closer, I saw indeed that it was my friend. We both started clamoring, “Do you think we can get our walk in before the rain hits?” As we looked up, the sky was getting darker and darker. We suddenly realized that we were going to need to either run to her house or trust Steve would get to us in time. The rain was upon us. As we were debating our best option of not getting soaked or struck by lightning, it started raining harder.

Her natural instinct was to run to what she knew as shelter… her home. My natural instinct was to run toward Stephen who I knew would be there for me. My friend prompted me to follow her, saying, “We can make it to my house before he can make it to us.” Knowing her house was closer than mine, it was still a long distance away. Since she is a senior citizen and I am middle-aged… what we thought we could do physically, in our mind’s eye, dates back to when we both were twenty, and not our actual age or true physical ability. I said, “I do not think we can run fast enough.”

Meantime, in the distance we saw headlights. I said, “Here comes Steve!” She said, “Oh good!” But the car turned the other way, and it was not him. She began to go toward her house and I started running toward where I knew Steve would be. Believing that he told me he was coming. “I trust him,” I said to my friend. “He will come and get us.” Sure enough, here came another car and I said, “See, it’s him! Run toward the car.” She ran with me, but was doubting, saying, “I don’t think it’s him.” I said assuredly, “No, it is him!” Sure enough, it was… We jumped into his car just as lightning hit. As we fell into our seats and slammed the rain outside the car, we felt very relieved. He was there, like he said he would be. He came for us just in time, before the real bad weather hit.

Having 30 years of experience with my husband, I, of course, know and trust him with my life. My friend has only known him for a short time. Her instinct was to trust in her own abilities to run… which in reality would have been a failure. My instinct was to trust in Stephen, because I knew I could not do it on my own. As we both trust in our instincts, we naturally acted on what we perceived to be true. I had to convince her that Steve was indeed trustworthy and would not let us down. She trusted me and our friendship therefore believed me that it was indeed my anxiously awaited husband.

                  I realized after this incident that our human reaction is how we as human beings respond toward God. If we know God and trust Him, we have confidence in Him, and run toward Him to save us from impending danger, and rescue from upcoming trials in life and our ultimate life’s end. It reminded me of Proverbs 16:25: “There is a way which seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.”^[1] What could have been a serious avenue for my friend and me, ended up being a funny mishap that we will probably laugh about for a long time.

                  So this brings us to my query: “In time of distress, who are we trusting in?” Although my husband is faithful, he cannot give me rescue from my impending death, or joy in every

circumstance. However, I do know and trust that Jesus can. He can be trust like a child can trust his daddy will catch him when he jumps into his arms.

                  It will always go back to who we know; who we have experience with.  Corrie ten Boom says it like this, “Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.” So, the question for us all is: “Do I know Jesus enough to run to Him, or do we run to our destruction?” I have known Jesus for about as many years as I have known my husband and I know that He will rescue me from times of trouble. I’m convinced that Jesus is trustworthy and will come and get me from this life’s storms. Will you run with me to Him? He is faithful to all who trust in Him. Let’s run together toward the only One who can save us from our life’s quandary: Jesus Christ. 

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^[1] New American Standard Bible: 1995 update. 1995 (Pr 16:25). LaHabra, CA: The Lockman Foundation.

Thank you for taking the time to read my contemplations.

 Blessings,
©Darla J. Smith
Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Djconnersmitty
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My Church: www.fbcjustin.org



 

Imparting Our BELIEF to Our Children

 

The definition of impart is to give; bestow; communicate: to impart knowledge. The charge to impart our faith was given to Israel in Deuteronomy 6 and subsequently to all who follow Jesus Christ. The best way to impart our faith is easily remembered by the acrostic BELIEF:

Be Diligent — talk about God morning, noon, and night. Deuteronomy 6:4-9 is clear that we are to speak of God and His attributes throughout the day. It is just as though we have been given a prescription from a doctor. In this case, the Great Physician prescribes us to, “Talk about Me to your children at least three times daily.” This is done in various venues and with a variety of methods. Some examples would include:

a.       At the breakfast table — “Wow, look at this egg, Susie. Isn’t it awesome how God creates food for us? God loves us very much.” This reveals that God is:

i.                      Loving

ii.                    Caring

iii.                 A provider

iv.                 Faithful

b.      On the drive to school — “Ben, I know you have a test today and you are pretty stressed about it. I am praying that God will help you remember what you studied and that you will remain calm during the test. Let me know when you get home how you think you performed on the test.” With this form of interaction, Ben knows you care enough to know the happenings of his life and understand his worries. As a result, he knows and trusts the validity of your faith. It also discloses God as:

i.                      Sustainer

ii.                   Sovereign

Note: Following up with the desire to know how the test went, will enable you to expose how God will be there for your child. If the test went poorly, indicate your support in his study habits, indicating it’s not all on God when we fail. This reveals:

i.                     Accountability

ii.                    Support

 

c.       At dinner or bedtime, encourage talking about the day and using those conversations to reveal the attributes of God. Was God:

i.                      Faithful?

ii.                    Loving?

iii.                  Healing?

Note: When the child speaks about the day or event make sure to point out how God has or can be there for him/her.

Engage the Scriptures — Quote Scriptures during the above interactions or at other times. This reveals our reliance on the Scriptures for our life’s guidance. It also reveals that we really do believe what the Bible says.

Learn the Word — Read the Bible in front of our children. This can be accomplished in personal quiet time with God, or reading the Bible to our kids. Reading an age-appropriate Bible or stories from the Bible is crucial, so be aware of the various age range of Bibles available. Most of us can purchase one that is appropriate for each individual reading level in our home. If one cannot purchase age-appropriate Bibles, then reading and interpreting “big” words or helping with comprehension could be accomplished.

Introspective Prayer — Talk to God with our child, or talk with God in front of them, openly voicing our own prayer to Jesus. This reveals God as a person we can relate to. It also speaks volumes to the child that, “God is not a far-off being that is available only when needed.”

Engage in Church — Go to church where the children are taught the Bible and encouraged to act on their faith.

·       Going to church is more helpful when done consistently or it will come off as an occasional activity and not a consistent lifestyle. Our faith becomes lifestyle first in a community with other believers.

Faithfully Share — Sharing our faith validates to our children that we really believe what we say we believe. James says, “Show me your faith and I will show you my deeds.” Kids are concrete intellectuals and kinetic learners. They learn from hands-on play and by performance. Some ideas to share our faith are:

a.                     Volunteer in a soup kitchen, clothes closet, or local mission. This could be once a year, once a month, or once a week.

b.                   Volunteer in church. Teach a children’s Sunday School class or lead as a greeter. Actually, any form of service in the church validates your belief that you really do trust in Jesus.

c.                 Be sure to intertwine God into our discussions like the above mentioned with other adults and families that we meet in the presence of our children. This will help our children understand that others can trust in Jesus as well, and causes them to understand that others may not have the same hope that our family has in life.

We can implement our BELIEF system with our children! It will become easier each day and before we realize it, the Christian lifestyle will be achieved by our kids as well as with us! God is faithful to remind us of this BELIEF system if we truly desire to impart our beliefs to our kids. Only God can call people to Himself by His Spirit, but He does require us to participate in everyway we can to ensure our kids know and honor Him.

 

 

Thank you for taking the time to read my contemplations.

 Blessings,
©Darla J. Smith
Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Djconnersmitty
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My Church: www.fbcjustin.org



 

Father's Day - The Role of the Father is to be Respected and Honored

 

     What does the Biblical worldview have to say about the father’s role and the impact he has spiritually and morally in the heritage of his children? This writer submits that the spiritual foundation of the family has been established by God to be the father. The role of passing on the fear of the Lord impacts the future generation so greatly, that even his or her initial view of God is tainted by the relationship of the father to the child.

It is the father that God holds responsible for the generation of the children to come for the spiritual training in the Lord (Deut. 6:4-9). In fact, God regards the importance of the father’s role so great that He is going to bless generations or curse generations according to the relationship He has with their fathers (Deut. 5:8-10).

 

The sins of the father would impact the children and the children after them; this is how serious fatherhood is to God. Not only can one impact their children for God, but also they can influence their child away from God. Farrar explains that the Puritan families of America were a great example of Biblical fatherhood and were very dependent on the role of the father. The father’s role in the Puritan home was one of teaching moral issues in regards to the rearing of the children. Attending church every Sunday was routine, however, the other six days of the week the father had the role of the minister of the family.

The most important job that a father has is to teach a healthy fear of the Lord to their children. If the father does not do this, then the children will not have reverence for God, which produces a lifestyle not devoted to God .

R. Albert Mohler mentions that the feminist movement and the culture change in our society causes boys to have a difficult time defining manhood. This type of movement will impact the Biblical outlook of boys growing up to be men. Mohler goes on to say, that we now face the phenomenon of perpetual boyhood on the part of many males. Refusing to grow up, these young men function as boys well into their 20s — some even into their 30s and beyond. An extended male adolescence marks the lifestyles, expectations, and behavior of far too many young males, whose masculine identity is embraced awkwardly, if at all.

Dads acting like children have caused this society to head in the direction of being fatherless. How then are they supposed to pass down to their children the laws and decrees of the Lord their God if they themselves are not following them and are not putting away childlike behavior? 1 Corinthians13:11 says, “When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things (NASB).”

Fathers, your job is one of great responsibility that unfortunately may not have been passed down to you by your father. Even so, it is clear in the Biblical text, God will hold the fathers accountable to the rearing of the children. Why not make this Father’s Day the beginning of a new outlook of Fatherhood. Being the dad that God expects of you is sacrificial work, but then again this is what Christ has done for us. He sacrificed everything for us. It’s never too late to start being a great dad and your kids and wife will be grateful for it. Happy Father’s Day weekend, dads. I know you can do it! I am praying for you.

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Thank you for taking the time to read my contemplations.

With Respect and Love,
©Darla J. Smith
Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Djconnersmitty
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My Church: www.fbcjustin.org

18 Life Lessons I Glean from the Life of Joseph

    

This blog is about Joseph the son of Jacob and Rachel. This narrative takes place in the book of Genesis chapter 37-50. Joseph is one of my favorite characters in the Bible because he was far from perfect, yet his life is exemplary. So much so, that one tends to be a little disappointed when he was not chosen in line of the promise at the end of his narrative. Why was Judah chosen over Joseph one may ask? The answer is a resounding, sovereignty of God. Who really knows? But one thing is for sure, Joseph’s life foreshadows the life of Christ. Here are 18 things I glean from Joseph’s life:

1.       If you are being favored, do not flaunt it.

2.       Do not give your pearls to swine. Joseph proclaimed his God given dreams to those who were not seeking God. If they had been seeking God they would have been open to Joseph’s revelation.

3.       Joseph desired to please his father and obeyed him.

4.       Joseph thrived through adversity and persevered horrid betrayal and oppression.

5.       He honored God and his task masters, demonstrated by God allowing Joseph to prosper in whatever he did.

6.       Joseph always gave God the credit for his gifting.

7.       Joseph fled temptation.

 

8.       Joseph cared how others felt, proven by his awareness of the baker and the cup bearer countenance.

9.       Joseph listened to others before speaking, verified by asking open ended questions.

10.   Joseph always gave God the glory for his actions and decisions.

11.   Joseph gave the benefit of the doubt. He tested the spirits by trying to grasp his brothers’ motives.

12.   Joseph did not let bitterness overtake his love for his father and brothers; authenticating love covers a multitude of sins.

13.   Joseph was open to God’s purpose in his life even when that purpose caused him pain and suffering.

14.   Joseph forgave and let go of the past.

15.   Joseph honored his father even though he had worldly authority over his father.

16.   Joseph looked forward to God’s promises fulfilled, verified by his desire for his bones to be taken to the land of promise.

17.   Joseph’s sons reaped his obedience to God, recognized by God 's openhandedness toward Joseph’s sons receiving a son’s inheritance from Jacob.

18.   Joseph’s Life was not about Joseph, it was about God.

 

Thank you for taking the time to read my contemplations.

 Blessings,
©Darla J. Smith
Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Djconnersmitty

Find me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/stephen.smith.735
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My Church: www.fbcjustin.org