7 Ways We are Coping with the Almost Empty Nest Syndrome

Our children are slowly growing up and leaving our home. This is a bitter sweet time in our lives. My husband and I have always been close and we look forward to be able to pack up and go to see whatever part of the world we wish to see. But on the other hand, we miss our kids being little and the joys and the sorrows that come with that. Below are 7 ways we are handling it:

1. Our focus is on God and His will for our life
    a. Just because we do not have young ones in the home, does not mean God cannot use us in the church or in other people's lives

2. Get to focus more on our marriage

3. Excited for new adventures. With married kids come:
    a. son-in-laws
    b. grandkids
    c. extended families to enjoy

4. Church family
    a. we can help mentor other families in the church
    b. get to be surrogate family to kids who do not have extended family

5. Have time to really listen to people and get to know them

6. Get to start hobbies I have always wanted to enjoy, such as writing or sewing

7. No guilty feelings when I go hang out with friends for an evening or a weekend

I am sure the list will continue but these things help  us when we start thinking about the kids moving on with their lives separate from us as a family unit. After all, that is what we have worked for all these years, for our kids to be able to support themselves and live following God in what He would have for their lives.

Thank you for taking the time to read my contemplations.

With Much Joy,
©Darla J. Smith
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6 Reasons Why 1 Corinthians 15 is My Favorite Chapter in the Bible

First Corinthians 15 has always been a favorite of mine. Even before I knew the Bible very well. I knew the power of the words written in this small chapter in the Bible were powerful. In fact I would argue that the Gospel can be preached from this chapter alone. It is our hope and our future joy. If you have a friend who is scientifically stumbled by the Gospel refer to this chapter and pray God will open their eyes to it's wonder, His wonder of future hope. Below is the 6 reasons it is my favorite.

1.       Christ is the basis of the Resurrection – first born V20

2.       Paul compares the resurrection with natural things in creation such as seeds and bodies of different creatures of God and His creation

3.       Reveals that seeds are part of the creation, but different when the bodily form emerges out of the seed VS 35-41

4.       This is the same with human bodily resurrection, the same body, but different in form (like Christ resurrected body) V53

5.       Paul reveals that we have the assurance of this resurrection through Christ V58

6.       Death no longer has victory over the believer V55

 

Thank you for taking the time to read my contemplations.

With Much Joy,
©Darla J. Smith
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Eternal Gardening

It’s springtime once again and every spring I try my hand at gardening. I am getting better. Each year I practice my gardening skills. One year I lost a crop because I did not water it enough. Another year I lost a crop because I did not cover it in the cold weather. And again in yet another year I did not prune the fruit as quickly as I should have and then I took it off too early. Wow, this gardening stuff is tough!

Every time I garden I think of how the Word of God illustrates gardening so eloquently. How many times has God said to me, “I am trying to water you with my Word, so read it.” Or “I am pruning you so you will produce even more fruit in your life.” Or better yet, “I have covered you with my Son so you can overcome death's cold sting."

Each year I get better at my gardening and each year of walking with Christ I show more fruit. This fruit is cultivated by the Heavenly Gardener cultivating my life for the final harvest; eternal life. What a sweet thought. That is probably why I like to garden so much!

Thank you for taking the time to read my contemplations.

With Much Joy,
©Darla J. Smith
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Father Knows Best

It’s easy to judge Adam and Eve for taking the only thing that was forbidden them, when they had such a lavish garden as the Garden of Eden. We think, “Oh what a shame!” And we also conclude about other people too, “If only he or she had not done such and such.” Some of us even think if we had been in the same situation, we might have chosen differently, but would we? Similarly to Adam and Eve I surely might die if I do not do what is best for me. Even with that knowledge, I am tempted to eat what I should not eat.

God gave us free will in order for us to choose Him and to learn from Him. Another way to describe our interaction with God is a two-way relationship. Two-way interaction makes a relationship. I have found when I am told I cannot have something, my human nature desires that very thing. In fact, Paul mentions this concept in Romans 7 with his conflict within his inner thoughts.

Like Adam and Eve not doing what was best for them, I also am in the dilemma of not choosing what is best for me. I sometimes do not take care of my health and ignore God when He says it’s His temple. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

Our Heavenly Father (our daddy), truly does know best. For our protection, He has given us His laws, Biblical stories, and the wisdom of the outcome of the life of others to reveal to us a life of abundance and a life that abides in Him. The question of the forbidden fruit was not a question of mere health or food, it was a question of obedience. Keep in perspective that God gave all of us: one way back to a relationship with Him, and that is through Jesus Christ His only Son. (John 3:16) Jesus is the only one with the knowledge of good and evil and yet without sin. (Hebrews 4:15) God provides for us even in our disobedience, just like he provided Adam and Eve with clothing and a promise of a way back to Him.

With Much Joy,
©Darla J. Smith
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A Diamond in the Rough

My affliction started when I least expected it. It is a condition that causes me much pain and is invisible to others. My ailment came at a very busy time in my life and at first I thought it was just in my head, then that "just in my head" turned into, I think I am an irrational person. When others can not see my pain, after a while, they considered me a hypochondriac or thought that I just wanted attention, however in reality I actually did have an ailment.

After much testing and ruling out this disorder and that illness, the doctors agreed the testing did show something wrong with me, and then a diagnosis resulted. With the diagnosis came the reality that this will last my entire life. I reacted as others would react, with relief that, I wasn’t a person out of my mind, then a state of Oh my, poor me, then, I am depressed, and then, Wow, I can’t have a pity party all my life. I passionately wanted to be a functioning influential person.

I began to search and asked God why He had allowed me to suffer in this way. “Yes, God, I was glad that this was not life threatening, however, why me?” This continued while peers, elders, and family were putting more and more pressure on me for their needs and to support and comfort them in times of adversity.

While growing in Christ through Bible study, I recognized that God allowed me to suffer so that when I do care for those in need, all will know that it is God in me that causes me to serve others. My condition keeps me from pride, arrogance, boasting, and wrongly imputed self-glorification. God alone will then receive the glory for anything and everything I do. Besides, my relationship with Him is so much sweeter than there are words to express. I am His vessel that He daily fills and pours out so others may know the one and true God. What a privileged affliction and undeniable blessing that has been given to me.

 

With Much Joy,
©Darla J. Smith
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The Good - Bye

When my husband told me that his company was moving our family away from our hometown, my heart sank. We had been married for seven years and had two small children. I was extremely close to my mother, sister, and in-laws, so when he told me about the transfer of the entire company, I was in a state of resistance.

As the time approached, it looked as though the move was really going to happen, although I prayed against it, and I tried to ignore it. Daily, I gently urged my husband to look for another job in our hometown, but job searching produced no leads. I finally had to admit my denial. I realized we were indeed going to move.

The day we said goodbye to our families, I remember my mom saying, "God will give you family in a church, and you will be okay.” I dismissed this, knowing it was true, but doubting at the same time, as I did not want to hear that God was replacing the family that I dearly loved with complete strangers. On the drive to our new state, I promise it was as if one could see my fingernail marks engraved on the landscape from across three state lines as I dug in wanting to hold onto my hometown!

My mother is not a prophet, but the instructions she gave rang true. We did find a church home and they are like our family. After twenty years in our new home state, it truly has become our home. God really does bring you close to those who are doing His will, when being in His will is your desire. After all these years I realize it truly was a good - bye.

With Much Joy,
©Darla J. Smith
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True Love Hurts

     The first time I really understood about love covering a multitude of sins and that love serves me as well as the one I am commanded to love, was when I was wronged by an individual in the church. Unfortunately, I felt as if a Christian should know better than to hurt me in such a way. I did this not realizing that all believers have different spiritual maturity levels and that some Christians stay in an infant stage their entire lives. I realized this when God revealed to me that I too have hurt others and I know better.

     If we would ask a Christian, “Do believers still sin once they become a follower of Christ?” Our answer would be a resounding, “Yes.” Moreover, when we sin we expect fellow Christians to forgive us. Yet, we choose to brew in hurt and mourning over the question of, “How could they do such and such to me.”

     Jesus did not do that at all. We do not see Him mention anything horrible about Judas, other than that he would betray Him and to “hurry up and do what he was going to do.” Additionally, while on the cross He begged His Father to “forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.” Does it hurt to forgive? Yes. Does it hurt when our own people are the ones hurting us? Yes. But praise be to God, love covers up a multitude of sins.

With Much Joy,
©Darla J. Smith
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The Cross: 10 Reasons Why it’s Not Just a Decoration

I personally love crosses and I always have. I think they are beautiful as jewelry, as wall decorations, and in just about any form or fashion. I do not know where this attraction for a cross came from, but I do know I have had it since I was a little child. Before I knew Christ as Savior and before I can even remember, crosses have always drawn me, even as my eyes would be attracted by a sunset or a pretty color, such as my favorite color of purple.

 

However, the cross in Biblical times was a disgraceful thought. To think of a cross meant shame, dishonor, cruel and unusual punishment. In fact, the cross became identified with the early Christians and it was not to decorate sanctuaries. The very word Christian (meaning little Christos) was a derogatory name that the people of “The Way” were called by mockers. So, the cross really is a crossroad, and identifier of who we are as Christians. The crossroad is met at the cross of Christ Himself where one has the God-given freewill to either follow Christ or reject God’s forgiveness through His Son Jesus via the cross. Here are 10 reasons why the cross is not just a decoration:

1.       The cross is the penalty of sin to be paid on humanity’s behalf. (Philippians 2:8)

2.       Jesus, who knew no sin, received our sin onto Himself on the cross. (2 Corinthians 5:21)

3.       Christ died on the cross while we were still yet sinners. (Romans 5:8)

4.       The cross reveals how hideous sin is to a holy God. (Deuteronomy 21:23, Hebrews 12:2)

5.       God is not a God who sits back and wishes humanity to be free of sin, but suffers in humanity’s stead on the cross. (1Peter 4:1)

6.       The cross of Christ is the doorway to God. (John 14:6)

7.       Without the cross there would not be a victory of the resurrection. (Mark 8:31)

8.       Jesus lived the perfect (sin-free) life, died, and rose again, making Him Lord of all. (1 Corinthians 15:3-5; Philippians 2:11)

9.       Salvation comes from hearing the message of the cross, which gives salvation by believing in the heart that God raised Jesus from the dead, and confessing Jesus as Lord. (Romans 10:9-10)

10.   A person who enters into a relationship with Christ because of His death on the cross has gained victory over sin, death, and Satan. (Revelation 12:11)

So, the cross really is a crossroad, a fork in the road of life. Which way we decide to go is up to us, yet salvation is available to all, so we are without excuse. (Romans 1:20) Which will it be? Follow “The Way” of the cross, or follow the road that is wide and broad? (Mathew 7:13)

Blessings,
©Darla J. Smith
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Lifestyle of the Rich and Famous

     Well, we are back from our vacation. The lifestyle of vacation with family was a good change. Observation of the lifestyle of the rich and famous was not so appealing… Stephen and I took two of our daughters to L. A. and Disneyland in California.

     Wow, all that money and prestige in the Beverly Hills area and the cities around them seems to be causing them to fall apart morally. Actually, corrupt morals seem to be taking over around all major cities and I wonder, What happened to the environment I grew up in? Then I remember Ecclesiastes 1:9, which states: “There is nothing new under the sun,” and realize that the setting I remember was guarded by family and unconditional love. Love is what I actually remember. Time with loved ones is what I longed for this week, to get away and focus on each other. That is exactly what we did.

     Disney was fun, but can be a deception to those who take hope in unrealities of fictional stories; life isn’t always happily ever after. Hollywood was intriguing, yet gloomy at the same time. The human depravity that surrounds the illusion of happily ever after and the rich and famous lifestyle creeps in and makes itself a prominent eyesore: unchecked humanism gone wild in a materialistic self-focused generation. Then there was the ever-so-obvious cultural parental pressure of trying to have kids find hope in an unfulfilling dream of Disney’s “all your dreams can come true.” Yet their kids were crying in the line for a ride and screaming for more or something different. What their parents gave them was never enough, and they all walked away unsatisfied. This groping for satisfaction is so sad to the parents because they were spending a lot of money and built this vacation up in their heads and their kids’ heads. It was also sad to watch, knowing that this is false hope. I am not against Disney; we have loved singing their songs in our family and reading the stories about good and evil with the good always winning. But, they are just that — stories and not truth. There is no hope in these stories; they are just fantasies that you or I could write. Our family loves books, stories, and movies, so of course we loved Disney, but our hope is not in these things.

     A rainbow flag now stands for “homosexuals welcome” and divides one supposed “social group” against another. What is really sad is that the rainbow was a sign of hope, a promise of God that He would not flood the earth again. Yet, now all you have to say is rainbow and people think of a link to homosexuality. It brought a lot of good conversations during our family vacation, that is for sure.

     I personally walked away with a greater sense of urgency for those who need true hope. The hope of true restoration found only in Jesus Christ. I pray the people we met recognized the presence of Jesus in our lives and actions.

     Our vacation away really could have been spent at home, because the true element of the vacation is the love we have for one another. We are blessed to be home where true riches and blessings are always found in the salvation of Jesus Christ. We come home with a feeling of contentment and gratitude for Jesus Christ, yet a longing for others to know the only true hope that exists. We do not cry, “Help us, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you are our only hope,” but we cry, “Help us, Lord Jesus, You are the only true hope.” Our world is falling apart around us but do not be disheartened; Jesus Christ has overcome the world and we find peace in Him. (John 16:33)

Thank you for taking the time to read my contemplations.

With Much Joy,
©Darla J. Smith
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Regeneration

 

 

While theologically this word means that a Christian is spiritually born-again by the restoration of a life renewal through the life, death, resurrection of Jesus Christ, and finally the understanding of self-deprivation and acceptance of this free gift one become spiritually regenerated. I love this concept and it is echoed throughout the Scriptures. I particularly love the entire 1 Corinthians 15. I am however, going to discuss a regeneration called VACATION.

     While a rest or short sabbatical would probably be a better word choice, over the chosen word of regeneration, I have chosen regeneration because a vacation with one’s family and doing just family things is a regenerating experience in this modern day. With an overabundance of long hours and tools to “help” us save time, we are in much need of a new way to do things. A way that is freeing and non-distractive to our daily life. In fact, it is a new life style we desire instead of a vacation.

     Some vacations leave us more exhausted than when we left. I am not talking about that kind of vacation. I am talking about see places for the first time and actually communicate with the ones you love physically and verbally TOGETHER, instead of texting emailing or by social networking! Wow, What a concept!

     Well, like a true Texan would say, “I am fix’n to go on one of those.” I cannot wait to regenerate with the ones I love and subsequently with the Lord together as a family. Although, we will miss the family members who cannot go with us, we are looking forward to this wonderful new way of life interval even if it is only for a couple of days. I pray you can get away soon as well. Until, we get back...

 

Grateful,
©Darla J. Smith
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5 Mistakes Made in Relationships

   









1.      Assumptions – Assumptions probably the top relationship mistake that one can make. Just the facts ma’am should be our motto. An assumption can become our paradigm when in reality it isn’t reality at all. Then the false reality could be acted upon and major relational mistakes can be made.

 2.     Caring Too Much What Others Think - Most of the time this can relate with assumptions, but it is much deeper. The core of the problem is we want to please man more than we care to please God our even our families.

3.      Listening to the Lies of Inner Self – This would be the lies that we tell ourselves that we are not a good spouse, parent, friend, etc. We all want to end our lives with the satisfaction that we were a good parent, spouse, student, someone who is really too good to be true. But the fact remains we will never be perfect. Yet, we beat ourselves up for not being perfect. If we were perfect our kids and spouse would not need God, they would have our perfection. Our perfection is nothing but an illusion and cannot be mastered because of our innate sinful nature. However, this fact does not mean we should stop trying to be the best spouse, parent or employee we can be. It just means do not beat yourself up about it.

4.       Time Management – Thinking we can somehow ignore we have 24 hours in a day and we can accomplish everything everyone asks us to do. When we do not fulfill these unattainable obligations we beat ourselves up, and can’t sleep remembering all the things we didn’t accomplish.

5.      Not Viewing Ourselves and Others from God’s perspective - If we would see ourselves as God see us and the way He sees others, the above list would vanish. We would love God, others and ourselves in the right perspective and the World would literally be taken from our shoulders and placed on His. So, the 5th mistake is really the first mistake.
 

            I am sharing this knowing that I have seen others and have done all of the above in most situations where there is conflict. I hope it helps you as much as it has helped me. Here is to a new outlook on God, others and ourselves! May our relationships increase with less conflict and more joy!

Thank you for taking the time to read my contemplations.

With Much Joy,
© Darla J. Smith
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Three Constructs of Systematic Theology that are Crucial to our Christian Life and Why

 

     The importance of systematic theology is for the protection from one’s own deceitful heart and mind (Mark 7:20-23, Jer. 17:9). The necessity of a system in theology protects individuals from removing focus from God to self or self-motive rather than the motive of God (1 Cor. 2:2-5). Consequently, a person searching for God would be wise to always check their motivating actions with the objects of theology, which are:

       1.      Bible

2.      Church history

3.       Personal revelation for God (which should agree with #1 & #2).

     The first mode of understanding, and ultimately the chief source, is the Holy Scripture. If a person feels that they have received a revelation from God, it would be prudent to compare if that revelation is in agreement with the Biblical teaching. Consequently, theology must have a check and balance system that includes both the Bible and Biblical Christian history. Why Christian history? Because history is the tool in which God has demonstrated or revealed Himself.[1]

     This historical data is found in the Bible but specifically in the books of Genesis, Exodus, the prophets, the Gospels, church history (not excluding the new testament letters), as well as the book of Revelation. Biblical history has carried its way through antiquity until the present.[i] Furthermore, historical activity thrusting into the future.[2]

     Systematic theology is a check and balance system by which one follows God and how God defines Himself. As a result, a follower of Christ must concern himself or herself with these three modes of understanding God. Consequently, if a believer follows any other mode of equation they have only developed a God in their own mind’s eye.

     With the Biblical structure of supervision through these three means of understanding, one has the God given ability to walk with God, act on His calling, and maintain a right thinking of God. Without this system one is doomed to fall under his or her own desires and will ultimately lose fellowship with the one triune God. A believer could possibly fall under the trap of false teaching or look for self-seeking advice, but this futile attempt has failed and plagued Christianity from the foundation of the church at Pentecost (2 Peter 2).[ii]

     In conclusion, without systematic theology, a seeker of God is just chasing after the wind. Moreover, the whole duty of humanity is to fear God and obey His commandments. For God will bring every act to judgment, everything that is hidden, whether it is good or evil (Eccl. 12:13-14). Therefore, to maintain the posture of fearing and obeying the Lord, a person truly longing to follow Christ, essentially is called to keep theology within these three systematic constructs. As a result, the teaching of the scripture, church history, and teaching the future generation to listen for the voice of God, by way of the former two, is paramount.

 

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[1] Garrett Jr. , James Leo, Systematic Theology Volume 1 Second, Smithfield Pr; 2nd edition (June 1, 2001), pg. 20-22

[2] Ibid pg. 22

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[i] As it has been said, those who do not learn from history are bound to repeat it

[ii] False teachers have plagued the church and evidence of that is a divided church, cultic behaviors, and church congregations. Peter’s warnings were a testament that false teachers were corrupting the church in his day and his charge was for the church leaders to keep an eye out to stop heresies from corrupting doctrinal truth for future generations. This charge is for the modern Biblical churches as well.

Thanks for taking the time to read my contemplations.
©Darla J. Smith
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