A Diamond in the Rough

My affliction started when I least expected it. It is a condition that causes me much pain and is invisible to others. My ailment came at a very busy time in my life and at first I thought it was just in my head, then that "just in my head" turned into, I think I am an irrational person. When others can not see my pain, after a while, they considered me a hypochondriac or thought that I just wanted attention, however in reality I actually did have an ailment.

After much testing and ruling out this disorder and that illness, the doctors agreed the testing did show something wrong with me, and then a diagnosis resulted. With the diagnosis came the reality that this will last my entire life. I reacted as others would react, with relief that, I wasn’t a person out of my mind, then a state of Oh my, poor me, then, I am depressed, and then, Wow, I can’t have a pity party all my life. I passionately wanted to be a functioning influential person.

I began to search and asked God why He had allowed me to suffer in this way. “Yes, God, I was glad that this was not life threatening, however, why me?” This continued while peers, elders, and family were putting more and more pressure on me for their needs and to support and comfort them in times of adversity.

While growing in Christ through Bible study, I recognized that God allowed me to suffer so that when I do care for those in need, all will know that it is God in me that causes me to serve others. My condition keeps me from pride, arrogance, boasting, and wrongly imputed self-glorification. God alone will then receive the glory for anything and everything I do. Besides, my relationship with Him is so much sweeter than there are words to express. I am His vessel that He daily fills and pours out so others may know the one and true God. What a privileged affliction and undeniable blessing that has been given to me.

 

With Much Joy,
©Darla J. Smith
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